Life changes really fuck you up.
Studying in a foreign country for 4 months, impending graduation, marriages of friends and family members, an inevitable "growing up" can really throw one's center of gravity off. It's so hard to remember the past yet not live in it. It's equally as hard to think about remembering the present as the past in the near future. I am starting to develop core philosophies on life that on occasion contradict one another. Or at the very least are seemingly impossible.
Is it possible to survive in life without care for money? I read the teachings of the Buddha and generally think working for money is stupid. Then I get a massage and dip in a jacuzzi with what are essentially chaise lounges in it and I think "this is the way all should live." I want a job that gives me benefits and allows me to buy a house but I also want to work for an employer who would hire me even with an afro. I want to spend my life in academia and get out in the "real world" as soon as possible. Am I to think that I can never have what I want or always have what I want. Further, I don't even like wanting things. I just want to let things happen to me and accept them as they are like Sri Krishna suggests. But it is hard when you love people in different countries, and games that only certain people want to play. If one loves information systems and ML and filmmaking and film criticism and improv and theatre and cooking with friends and making Chinese food omlettes and eating Yong Tau Foo and Teh Ping and playing Betrayal and playing GHOST and bowling on teams and learning magic tricks, how can one ever be satisfied?!?
Unrelatedly, I have some WICKED ideas for Woodscotch Spring 2k6. No, they don't involve the show WICKED. I don't even know why I capitalized those letters. But yeah, super wicked. Why did I not participate (really) until last year. Woodscotch is the best thing ever.
An a side note, what do I want this holiday season? Does Toys R Us sell contentment?
Is it possible to survive in life without care for money? I read the teachings of the Buddha and generally think working for money is stupid. Then I get a massage and dip in a jacuzzi with what are essentially chaise lounges in it and I think "this is the way all should live." I want a job that gives me benefits and allows me to buy a house but I also want to work for an employer who would hire me even with an afro. I want to spend my life in academia and get out in the "real world" as soon as possible. Am I to think that I can never have what I want or always have what I want. Further, I don't even like wanting things. I just want to let things happen to me and accept them as they are like Sri Krishna suggests. But it is hard when you love people in different countries, and games that only certain people want to play. If one loves information systems and ML and filmmaking and film criticism and improv and theatre and cooking with friends and making Chinese food omlettes and eating Yong Tau Foo and Teh Ping and playing Betrayal and playing GHOST and bowling on teams and learning magic tricks, how can one ever be satisfied?!?
Unrelatedly, I have some WICKED ideas for Woodscotch Spring 2k6. No, they don't involve the show WICKED. I don't even know why I capitalized those letters. But yeah, super wicked. Why did I not participate (really) until last year. Woodscotch is the best thing ever.
An a side note, what do I want this holiday season? Does Toys R Us sell contentment?
1 Comments:
if you want the opinion of a youngin', well, i guess they always say that life is about choices. you know, 'blah blah blah since we can't have everything, we have to make choices.' BUT i don't think that you should settle for something that leaves you dissatisfied just because 'you can't have everything.' just try to get as much as you can out of your situation, i guess.
and toys r us may or may not be selling contentment, but they are definietly selling Chicken Limbo! woo!
smiles,
~julie
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Anonymous, at 12:47 PM
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