We'll see where I am in a month.

I used to have the world's best kind of problem: a beautiful woman was in love with me. Sure, we couldn't be together, so it was actually a problem. But not a bad one to have. Now, it's just a problem.

I envy people who live life without regret. It seems all I've done in the past 2 years is regret what I did.

The world is cruel in its perfect balance? I have so much. My mom asked what I wanted for Chanukah and I told her I had everything I wanted and I meant it. Now I have everything but that which I want most.

Maybe I should stop complaining. Maybe I should start believing all those things that, when I was leaving, were so easy to believe.

I don't regret Carrie. I wouldn't take back one day I spent with her. I would just take back every day since then. I would have faith in our feelings. I would for once appreciate what I had instead of using logic to deny it.

How was it that when I was with her everything seemed clearer? I knew what I wanted. I felt for the first time in a year that I was happy about life in general, regardless of my relationship status. I couldn't imagine being so depressed.

I feel like I might be starting another bad year.