Reflections on an endangered existence

It sometimes seems to me that life, in its infinte wonder, must take away the good it brings. What a strange time to grow up in. It seems that finally we have the power to do and be what we want, yet we spend so much of our early years letting go. Letting go of histories whether we like them or not (and indeed most are bittersweet). I have seen so many shows close, graduated from so many levels of schooling and begun so many others; I have seen relationships fall and crumble and begin.

As I get older, time periods just get longer. I have friends I haven't talked to in time periods I can only measure in years, family members I haven't seen in something resembling a decade. I spend my days changing and craving stability. But the worst part is, I don't know if I want it. There's some air of opportunity that gets continually crushed the more choices I make, the more decisions become permanently inked. The next job, the next apartment, the next crush, the next shirt I wear all take away from the world of infinite choice that I once struggled to make sense of. So many whimsical ideas (culinary school, London, directing film in India) are fading into obsoleteness.

And in the end, all I wonder is if my plight is to be expected. Is there no way to avoid this? How do some people feel so comfortable in this transition? Or maybe no one does. I am left wanting something but every something I imagine doesn't seem to be the right one. Well, another day, another blank.