3 / 10

It just occurred to me how I started this blog so people would not have to deal with the stupid depressed whining of my old xanga. Now I just scrolled through and 3 out of the 10 posts (this one will change that I guess) that are on my index page were in any way not just mopy. My first thought is I am most often a happy person, I should change that. But even PG rehearsal tonight, the thought of which had been the light at the end of my shitty Monday tunnel, is starting to loose it's glimmer. Maybe it's just too far away.

Yeah so it's 8:33am and I'm awake. Supplanting my lonely apartment existence by sitting all alone in the basement of Hunt for 3 and a half hours.

In other news, part of me thought that music would help. It does at least change things. At Alex's suggestion, Tyson burned me some CD's, namely The Spine and Good News for People Who Like Bad News. I have now listened to the former 1.5 times and the latter once. Both exceptional. They do help me to stop thinking and just let myself feel. Granted the feelings are still conflicted and mostly depressed, at least I can just feel them.

I also tried to reinstall my OS, which is challenging because the way my HP works, I just install the factory image as opposed to just reinstalling Windows. First attempt, unsuccessful.

I guess this won't change the 3/10.