Out of touch and out of mind.

Without a cell phone, I am less of a human being. It is remarkable how dependant I have become on that tiny silver piece of crap. I used to complain that I had it but people rarely called me on it. Lately a ton of people have been calling me and while this is often problematic for trying to do anything, it does make me feel like the mayor of Specialville USA.

I still have never gotten a hangover or vomitted due to alcohol consumption. I have also never been as whatever I was as I was last night. I usually at least have some control over my alcoholic symptoms, but last night all bets were off. It felt a bit like Being John Malcovich where I was watching events transpire through some kind of window. But it also seemed like stimuli was coming faster than I could process it. I had to open my eyes every once in a while to see who was sitting next to me because I couldn't remember. I was cold, but couldn't move my body to go back inside. So like the main character in "Johnny Got His Gun," I was left with nothing but my thoughts, which were multitudinous despite being slower than usual. Even walking home I barely said a word, which was awkward I'm sure for those with me, but I couldn't help it. My mind was still going. I remember thinking I wish I could do that more, just spend hours thinking, processing, working things out in my mind. It did change things.