Upfdate!

I'm going to X-Men III!

I may even sit with someone I know!

I'm going to the bank!

I won't sit with someone I know!

Last time I went to the bank I did a coin trick!

Then I got arrested!

The last part is a lie!

Trippy!

Also

Graduation pictures.

And I got a close-up mat.

Updates from Norway.

I am not in Norway. But I am mad at the world. I was having such a good day! I got up early, got all excited to hang out with people and go see the midnight X-Men III and it's sold out! Who sells out 12 hours before the movie? Honestly. It's not even supposed to be that good. Damn it. Such a good day. Plus, now everyone will have seen it, so I'll have to go on Friday with strangers. Old people strangers. I own the first X-Men movie. How many of the tools going (aside from my friends, they're cool) OWN the first movie?!? What jerks.

Ok, not much else is new. I have a big list of financial stuff and should probably go to a bank and a realtor today but I'm in a bad mood.

Another day, another waste of life.

I haven't wasted so much time in a long time. Did I start the aprtment hunt? Did I put some more of my movies on You Tube? Did I watch one of the movies on my ever-growing list? Nope. No, I didn't. I woke up at 1:30 and watched TV from my bed until I realized I needed to pick up my IS commencement tickets. So at 3:40, I went to campus, got the tix, and got my cap and gown from Nina's (I met her Dad! But I was so out of it. It was probably weird). Then around 5, I got a delicious Boston Market dinner. I learned that when one doesn't eat Boston Market (I almost abbreviated it BM...ew) for a long time, one enjoys it more than is probably reasonable.

Then I sat around again. Did I read some Tom Robbins or plan my next week? No, I watched the Steve Harvey show. Eventually this led to the TV broadcast of X-Men 2. At this point, I became very hungry. Dinner plans didn't work out (only one person wanted to go and it was raining), my eggs were gelatinous and my toast had mold. So here I sit, watching South Park, updating my blog, and waiting for a pizza. Could I be more worthless.

Oh well, tomorrow I have 3 ceremonies and a haircut. Let me know if you want to hang out with or without my family tomorrow afternoon!

Unexpected?

I don't believe in citing sources.

Top Ten Sites (Page Views)
1) Yahoo!, 2) MYSPACE.COM, 3) MSN-Microsoft, 4) Time Warner Network, 5) eBay, 6) Google, 7) FACEBOOK.COM, 8) Viacom Online, 9) Craigslist, and 10) Comcast. Our tracking index of the top 100 sites by page views was up 7% m/m.

Top Ten Sites (Unique Visitors)
1) Yahoo!, 2) MSN-Microsoft, 3) Time Warner Network, 4) Google Sites, 5) eBay, 6) Ask Jeeves, 7) Amazon, 8) MYSPACE.COM, 9) New York Times Digital, 10) and Verizon Communications.

Key Points
We note that Craigslist, MySpace, and Facebook continued to grow. These three sites average double the average page views of the next closest site.

Ok, fine. These are from some research firm.

Ok, so I missed one.

Maybe two. But I have been traveling. I took a trip to Cleveland that no one (including myself until recently) understood. To the point that most of my family was all, "It's nice to see you. Why are you home?" Well you heard the Mother's Day story, but as I was driving from pgh, I couldn't help but think it was dumb to go home 1) for a day and a half and 2) with only a day's notice so everyone was busy. Well it turned out to be ok. There was some down time when everyone was busy, but I did some laundry, and played drums so much that I have 2 blisters and one layer of skin gone on part of my right index finger. I should get gloves.

On a related note, new skin is great. If you're like me, you've seen commercials and been like, "What a good idea!" "I wonder if it works!" or "Catchy jingle!" But I bought some after a remarkably delightful conversation with a CVS pharmacist and it's great. Painful, but great. You can walk around all day, wash your hands, eat from a pool of jello, and you have no pain from things brushing up against the bruise, no band-aids that come off, and there's antibiotic stuff on it. Great.

Without muchado,

APARTMENT: Not much news. I am going to suck at living somewhere. Where do I even start? Should I pick up one of those free real estate guides? Do I look online? Do I get a realtor? I just don't know. Eh, I'll just ignore it for another few days.

SCHOOL: Still over. This category is from now on gone.

GIRLS: Ugz bugz. I talked to Carrie last night for the first time in a little while. I am just so confused. At times, I am fine, life is good. Then I get home a little drunk one night, my graduation ceremonies beginning the next day, and I really miss her. Admittedly, I wanted to make out with her more than anything else, but I did miss her. So I called her and she is of course doing exactly what I told her to do. Even when we were dating I said she could see other people if it made her happy. She would get upset that her seeing other people didn't upset me. The fact is, it would have, it was just pain for me that seemed worthwhile because I was leaving in X months and (I assumed) Johnny Otherguy wasn't. Somehow, Gregory stings me more than he should, considering how much I truly do want her to get over me. Maybe it only stings because she really has. Ah well, life sucks right? She's probably the only one still reading this category anyway.

GRADUATION: is upon me. Let's take a tally:

• Excited for: The ceremonies, listening to the non-boring speeches, my family being all proud of me, graduating.
• Not excited for: the speeches that are all about "writing my own story," right after commencement when I will not know what to do, the day after when everyone who is leaving goes, more or less forever, graduating.

MAGIC: I was home, so as always, I did some tricks. Things like "so you got a trick coin" one never enjoys hearing. But how do you perform bite-away coin without everyone knowing you have a trick coin? I'll have to think about that. Maybe I should just not. Well, as always, some were impressed, most were not. My family is also primarily into figuring tricks out. I will say this though: I love doing tricks for people who are just impressed. Yet, empirically, I more often do tricks for people who figure them out. Maybe I just like trying to fool the people who can't be fooled. I don't know. But if I am going to do magic on the street, those are the people I need to learn to fool.

FAMILY: I saw them and it was pretty great. I hung out with my sister Tuesday night, saw The Inside Man and had delicious meatloaf. Lunch with lots of people Wednesday, talked to Dan about his stem-cell research, then dinner with lots of people. I had to leave early to get back to a meeting that didn't end up meeting, but just before I left, my fam all gathered around while I read my gram's graduation poem (she writes poems for every occassion) and it was just really nice. As much as I don't look forward to cloudy Pittsburgh, I am really glad to be close to them. I am even thinking of starting a new blog that they can read too, because I don't get to call them all enough.

And on that sappy note, I am off to my first potentially grueling ceremony. I think this one gets my name on a plaque in Skibo.

Did I tell you I'd update or what?

What a crazy day today has been. Last night, before I posted, I wrote up to page 20 of my screenplay (I'm taking a screenwriting class). I was averaging 5 pages every 90 minutes. Yikes bikes. Before I went to sleep, I wrote an email I had been meaning to write for a week which asked my prof if we had to turn it in Tuesday or Wednesday. This morning at 10:30, I wake up to see her response: it is due by 5pm today! So I scrapped all the things I wanted to do and wrote a lot of screenplay. I managed to pump out 20 pages by 3pm, did some errands I also needed to do today, revised it for about 45 min (I looked at about 2 scenes, so it's mostly a first draft i.e. ass), and turned it in.

A failed and a successful dinner plan, some YouTube, a lot more homework (another assignment I realized was due at midnight tonight -- the 2 hours ago one) and a beer and here we are. I am done with college. I will not turn in another assignment (well that's not true, I turn in one tomorrow but it's done). All these accomplishments, and because we always miss each other's busy days, I go back home to a big empty bed.

Ok, enough mope, I have a surprising amount of updates for one day.

APARTMENT: The lease extension came through, so I am officially with shelter until August 1. Now I have to REALLY start looking for a place to live. I would also like to add "yard" to my list of things to look for.

SCHOOL: Well, outside of graduation, I guess this won't be a category anymore. But, hey, I wrote a screenplay! Well, 40 pages of one. And it isn't all bad. I think the story is good, it's very visual, and it moves. But it could use some more humor and another subplot or two.

GIRLS: Sometimes I think I understand them more than most guys. Then I realize I don't. I blame no one for myself (for not asking sooner), but my I seem to mind sleeping alone a lot more when I thought I might not have.

GRADUATION: I finally paid my PBK fee and also for that window I broke in Baker Hall, so it looks like I can graduate all fine. I am going to pick up my gown later than I thought I would because I am taking a hitherto unplanned trip to Cleveland tomorrow. Good for me.

MAGIC: So while I was waiting for NPP to come upstairs for the banquet, some kid's mom was waiting for him in UC 318. So naturally I showed her a coin trick, only she was impressed. So I did one of my standard vanish/appearance routines with a 50 cent piece and she said something like "Do you do this for audiences? My son did some magic, but this is really impressive." Naturally, I then had to apologize for not having cards on me (I didn't have my messenger bag -- now that school's out, I'll have to find another place to keep cards at all times), but I raised the stakes anyway by making her signed coin go through a table and land under her chair. I may not be a very good magician, but for those fleeting moments when they don't figure it out (or don't care to), when you really impress someone, it makes it all worthwhile. And if you're lucky, it will save you from being mugged.

Family: I called my mom on mother's day and asked her for money (I'm the worst son ever). I talked to my cousin who's in town from Florida and was all, "I keep missing you by so little. After Tuesday, I won't have any work to do." And he was all, "We're here for a week. Come after Tuesday." And I'm all, "That's not a bad idea." So I'm going home tomorrow (I should really go to bed). I hope my family's a little free despite the short notice.

All right, beer + not enough sleep + 2:22 am = me going to sleep. Hopefully I'll have time to post from Cleveland tomorrow.

I can't sleep.

Why am I going to sleep so early on a Saturday night? Because then I can wake up early. Also, I was already home working on the screenplay and don't really feel like leaving. Why wake up early? So I can be productive. If I accomplish things in the morning, I start the day feeling productive, and this tends to make me more productive. But why not just work now? Good question. As of an hour ago, I was wide awake. Then I got tired, came to a nice breaking point in the SP, so I decided to go to sleep. But the whole bed routine (setting alarms, brushing teeth, etc.) just woke me up. So now I can't sleep. I also can't sleep because this blog post was swimming around in my head.

What blog post? The answer: stop asking questions.

I think I'll try an experiment. I'm bored of this blog, as I am sure you have become. So I will try to make it the kind of blog I don't like (particularly, the kind that chronicles things). Sounds dumb I know. But then everyone will get caught up on my life, I will hopefully update more, and in a week or so, you can tell me if it was boring or interesting in any way.

To facilitate your reading, I will code each section of my life. How convenient:

APARTMENT: So I have to find a new apartment/place of living. My mom (and Grandpa apparently) think I should buy a place. I called my management company today to see if I could extend my lease until Aug 1 (instead of June 15). I haven't heard back. But if not, waiting around for deals to close will suck and result in much moving. On the fun side, here are my qualifications for a place of living:

• quiet area when I sleep, but noisy enough that it's ok when I (or my neighbors) have the occasional soiree
• dishwasher
• place for my (or Will Haines') drum set
• near a bus stop, preferably near enough to downtown I could ride my bike easily

I am going to look in Shadyside and Bloomfield first, just because they have been recommended.

SCHOOL: I am in the home stretch. I had one final presentation and have to finish an accompanying report. It was for this website (click "Student and Community Resources") we designed and I think mine looks pretty, though some of the colors are ass. I also have to write 40 pages of my screenplay. I am up to page 9 and at various times I think it will be easy then impossible. Hell, I don't know how to write a screenplay. The most we've written up until now was one full scene, the rest has been spent on story. But I don't know how to fit it all together and tell the story well. We'll see how it goes. At least I (finally) like my story a lot. But I need to get away from inventing premises about protaganists who are me.

WORK: For the first time in a long time I have been starting to see some of the potential benefits of settling down into a job right now. CMU and the college life will not be an easy thing to let go of, but whenever I have had difficulty letting go, I find a become a better (or at least different) person because of it. I am still freaking out about a few things (namely having to keep the 9-5 person schedule, not making adult friends, and of course the lack of anyone to share my purchased house with), but maybe, just maybe I'll be ok. I really hope I do at least one or two of the things I think I will next year though (for details, see 2 posts ago + start an improv troupe, audition like whoa, and finish my screenplay).

GIRLS: I like them a lot. Not much news on this front. I think I have become finally comfortable with what Carrie and I are to each other. I still love her incredibly, but I've dealt remarkably well with her continuing boy saga and I think we will be excellent friends despite having dated and being a planet apart. I flirt a lot, sometimes successfully and most often not. Recently, I wonder how forward I can get away with being. I have tried to prevent myself from jumping into things because it worked so well when I didn't. But right now, most often I find myself flirting with people that I really want to make out with more than anything else. Maybe that makes me an asshole (unless that's all they want too), but if you wanted to be updated on my life, I'm kind of an asshole.

Anyway, if all I want is to make out with a person, let's call her A because I'm actually thinking of no one in particular, do I tell A this? Chances are I don't know her well. The way I see it, there are 3 states of the world:

1. She wants to make out with me. Problem solved, everyone wins.
2. She doesn't. My campaign for the AJAA will long-awaitedly begin. I probably won't even get to be her friend this way and that, at least according to Atom, is probably what I wanted in the long-term.
3. She might make out with me, but not yet. I'm bored with this analysis, moving on.
   

In general, though, I think I have been doing well. I haven't buckled under the strain of loneliness and I generally enjoy my days. I certainly, as always, enjoy flirting.

GRADUATION: I have so many questionnaires to fill out and emails to write it's silly. I can't believe that in 3 days I will be picking up a cap and gown. Senior Week looks like a bit of a bust for me because few of my friends are seniors and they generally aren't going to much. But I'll at least go to this silly Heinz field thing I guess. I find it hard to do a lot of it though. Write 2-4 sentences summing up my college career to be read as I walk. Answer questions like "What are my most memorable CMU experiences?" Who can do that? Well, I forgot to pay a membership fee, so I might not be in that ceremony anyway.

MAGIC: How do I love this so much? It's a weird hobby because I'm not that good and I don't have enough time to practice. Yet I keep spending money, watching trick videos online, and showing tricks to people that they almost always immediately figure out. I'm a shame to magic, but I love it. And at least I'm improving. It's the kind of thing (like acting) that I wish I could focus on for a while. But alas and alack... Whatever, I made Alex Aspiazu's signed coin go through a table and of the 8 people who ended up watching, at least she was impressed.

FAMILY: I haven't seen my family in such a long time. I am 2 hours away, but I really do feel far here. I was supposed to go home for Mother's Day, but it's looking like I have too much work to do (I say at the end of an 18 page blog entry). Well, I'll see a lot of them for graduation and then try to go home after. The little word I get is all positive from them, though. My sister's looking at law schools, my cousins are happily learning in Florida, my other cousin just got a real job for next year, my mom's all moved in and has a phone line in the new house. What a crazy time.

Ok, I'm finally feeling a little bit tired again. If I manage to keep this up for a few days (they won't be as long as I'll only have one day of new things now), let me know if it bores you out of your mind. Goodnight.

Reflections on an endangered existence

It sometimes seems to me that life, in its infinte wonder, must take away the good it brings. What a strange time to grow up in. It seems that finally we have the power to do and be what we want, yet we spend so much of our early years letting go. Letting go of histories whether we like them or not (and indeed most are bittersweet). I have seen so many shows close, graduated from so many levels of schooling and begun so many others; I have seen relationships fall and crumble and begin.

As I get older, time periods just get longer. I have friends I haven't talked to in time periods I can only measure in years, family members I haven't seen in something resembling a decade. I spend my days changing and craving stability. But the worst part is, I don't know if I want it. There's some air of opportunity that gets continually crushed the more choices I make, the more decisions become permanently inked. The next job, the next apartment, the next crush, the next shirt I wear all take away from the world of infinite choice that I once struggled to make sense of. So many whimsical ideas (culinary school, London, directing film in India) are fading into obsoleteness.

And in the end, all I wonder is if my plight is to be expected. Is there no way to avoid this? How do some people feel so comfortable in this transition? Or maybe no one does. I am left wanting something but every something I imagine doesn't seem to be the right one. Well, another day, another blank.

Things I want to do in the near future.

1. Sky dive.
2. Make up a bike tour of Pittsburgh, then ride it.
3. Practice so I get good enough, then buy a little portable table and do magic tricks for passersby on a treet downtown somewhere.
   
4. Invest more.
5. Nerf war.
6. Go to lunch with Jeff Hinkelman.
7. Watch my Delicatessan DVD!
8. Travel and Philosophize with Ram Subramanian, esquire.
9. Live in a place with a drum set and a front yard.
10. Change everything.