This Girl Wide Web is hot stuff.

This weekend seemed very long.  I beat Super Mario World with an 88% which is better than I've done before.  I went to a fun part in which I didn't have much fun.  I don't know what it was.  It felt like I didn't have much to talk about (ironic, i know) and I couldn't drink much because I had to drive home.  So I sat on a couch for a while.  After an hour I figured if I am sitting on a couch I might as well be playing nintendo.  I felt bad for being a bad guest as Beth was not a fan of any of the ways I tried to amuse myself, so I went home.  I don't even remember what I did, probably played nintendo.

I decided at some point I should really start doing some of the things I set out to do this summer.  I am working on my Convergys scholarship application, slowly, but surely and I am trying to get my hands on a Fifth Year Scholars application.  I met with Judy and she gave me the Fullbright information and application.  It's the size of a very large magazine.  Horrifying but it sounds amazing.  They basically send you anywhere in the world and give you money to do whatever you want (go to school, do a project, research, etc.).  It also looks quite impressive on a resume says Ms. Zang.  Unfortunately, the chances are exorbitantly small of me getting in.  But I'm crazy so I will probably apply.

I have also begun another small project, which is generally equivalent to sending the fidelity video project to the gallows.  I also thought about making a video for Dan and Mel's wedding, but as it's this weekend, I think I dropped the ball on that one.  I think I will take intermediate filmmaking.  I don't know when but I will.  If this Fullbright thing works out, I will not need to go abroad for so long in school.  Which means I will likely revert back to my summer in London plan, giving me a full 9 months away from Alex.  But it will let me be here in the fall of my senior year which is the ideal (and possibly only) time to take said filmmaking class, which is arguably important.

This is getting excessive.  One last point and I warn you it is scary.  If you're me.  I don't know what to do.  I really want to do something with film because all of my jobs/internships have all been up IS creek.  But after I graduate, no one will give me an IS internship anymore.  This is the only time I have to do one and the fact is that they are so prevalently available that most companies almost require some real-world experience.

That's ass.

Why can't someone just pay me to do whatever the hell I want!

Oh and for the first time, I'm feeling a bit like I might not be a horrible AD come fall.  The jury's still out on that one because these things always work out better in my head.

So much life, so little time.

My sister is no longer coming to visit me this weekend.  It's a little sad because she's tried to twice now and has yet to come.  But she just graduated and is in that awkward sort of transitional period between college and life, she bought a car and has been spending time with her boyfriend in Nashville (and apparently just signed a lease with him there), so I can understand.  But I haven't seen her nearly enough since she got back from Spain and I was quite looking forward to an excuse to go see some things in Pissburgh.

In other news, how can I honestly fill up any amount of time I ever have at work?  I used to get bored at work, then I started playing Spybotics, and then I remembered the ass-loads of stuff I have to do this summer.  I managed to complete a scholarship application for a $5,000 annual scholarship with an internship possibility attached, but have been updating my resume and hunting recommendation letters for it.  I also got a lot of TheatreCraft stuff done, so now we just have to wait and schedule.  Greg said he's interested in doing our web design, which is always good, but it means we have to scrape together all the information and come up with some architecture, etc.

On the improv front, my whole summer has been turning out to be a crazy experience.  I think that every 4 days I start thinking in an entirely new way.  I've actually had to stop myself from mentioning the word improv in my head when I start to sleep because I know it will snowball into a tyrade of insomniac thoughts.  What do I think about?  All sorts of things.  Ways to teach more effectively, how to address certain existing problems, how to prepare for the inevitable fall problems, how to improve my own improv, the slew is unending.  The worse part is I feel differently about it all the time.  I was burned out at the end of my freshman year, then got elected AD and shifted my focus entirely, now I don't even know anymore.  The worst part is, it's half over.  It seems like it's been forever, but I still can't believe that after one semester, I'll be congratulating some new up and comer.  But at the same time, I wish I had less to do so I could focus even more on it.  NPP is my number 1 extracurricular priority next semester, but that still leaves the insanity of my classes in front of it and the pressure of TC shortly behind (though Courtney and Kami know I won't be doing a whole lot in the fall).  This entry is a stream of ramblisciosness.

I also should really get going on this Fifth Year Scholar thing.  Do I really want to do it?  I don't know.  Maybe.  Yes.  No.  Who knows?  I want to go abroad, but there's no time I can do it.  I just want to stay in college forever!!!  I know that no one says that.  Everyone wants to get out.  And part of me is excited to put this place behind me.  But I am just so happy doing what I am doing right now.

Hmm...sorry about these crazy elated emotional posts lately.  At least it beats Depression Blast 2k4 of last semester.

Whirlpool.

I believe that was the name of the crazy status game Scott came up with on a Challenge.  Maybe it was whirlwind.  But I'm thinking pool.
 
Anyway, this weekend was amazing for all who partook in it (or at least the people I know who, umm, were alive this weekend).  I wrote a really long post describing many details, and it was posted for like .2 seconds, but I've decided to just say it was awesome.  Here's proof.

So so so so so so much to say, but not a lot when you get right down to it.  I really enjoyed both learning and teaching people how to play Eat Poop You Cat.  I hope that npp can get start playing games like that again, and just about all the time.  Like every minute of the day.  Except when we're sleeping.  Or doing improv.  But all other times will be dedicated to the playing of silly games.
 
When we graduate, we will all eat our organs.
 
That was one of my favorites.  It's funny, come to think of it, that both times I've played, there's been mention of the American flag AND cannibalism.
 
Aww, I love you guys (if you don't think this is referring to you, you're wrong).

The Prince of Paris.

I've been working almost all day at work. Which sucks. I shifted all of the DVD's around and I labeled a box full of new movies. But labeling new DVD's allows me to see them, and many looked very interesting. For example, I was reminded of how much I still want to see Triplets of Belleville. Even the cover looks soooo cool.

I've been feeling a smidgen anti-social inexplicably since I got back from Philadelphia. I don't really know why. I've been aching inexplicably too. My back is much better today. But now explicably my neck hurts from looking down into a box of DVD's for an hour. But anyway, I only even went to Beth's last night because I figured I ought to interact with other humans. I'm glad I did, but I am still feeling like I'd much rather play Super Mario World in my apartment than hang out with people. At times I've felt quite the opposite too. I guess the grass is always greener. In the torrent of invitations this summer has provided me, perhaps I am just longing for the occasional evening at home with a movie and a freshly cooked dinner. Who knows? It will all pass eventually I'm sure.

I wish my relationship with Alex made more sense to me from time to time. Maybe I don't. Either way, I wish she was here. That's not true because I'm glad she's with friends and family and at camp. I wish all of that was here. Or something. You get the idea.

I have class again tonight. It seems like it's been a while, but that's likely because we just had our first two nights in a row of class. I was quite excited to see my professor's page on IMDb, but I don't really know how much I'll learn from this class at the end of the day. I personally don't think I'm improving very much. I'm not very good in practice, but I know some of what he's been teaching us. In fact, one of his exercises was one I did with the Earnest cast. If nothing else, though, it's good to see yourself on screen. Acting. And not like tapes of shows where you are a tiny body in the middle of a sea of poor quality video of some auditorium. But where the camera is right up on your face. Seeing every ugly portion and every move your eyebrow does and does not make. I was thinking of asking David (my professor) if he'd be interested in coming to run a workshop for TheatreCraft. Maybe for next year, as I think even Spring might be early to dabble in film. Maybe not. Even I could workshop some cold readings or some such things for the camera. It would be good for people to see themselves I think. It's eye-opening.

Busy day at the office.

I haven't been at work in some time, so I came expecting to get a number of things done. Reading for my class, memorizing the copy for class, catching up on email, blogging, reading people's blogs, etc. Instead, there is a huge pile of new dvd's that I need to label, type cards for, and file. Jeff asked me if I was busy, but I feel bad saying I have stuff to do, because he is paying me to work for him. Oh well. Anyway, hopefully this post will be short.

I had a lovely weekend with Alex. I am still remembering it fondly everytime I turn my head as a wave of burning pain ripples through my neck and shoulders from the sunburn that is not being made to feel much better by the not-quite-aloe aloe lotion that was the best available to be purchased at 10pm on a Sunday night in pittsburgh. But it is likely the only sun I will get all summer, so yay! And the Jersey shore was lovely despite the little baby jelly fish that could always be felt while in the water. But I had a good time. And her camp seemed fun. I was almost a bit jealous.

I was surprisingly sad when I was leaving. Not surprisingly like I am surprised I was sad. I was just surprised at how sad I was. It was painful to drive out of that parking lot. Listening to 1984 on CD on the way back didn't help. An excellent book, but very depressing.

I hate typewriters. I was just typing a card for Where the Boys Are. I typed Where the Boyd twice (and once the first time I typed it into this entry ironically) in a row, so I had to throw out the cards. Urg.

I should go.

Oh, Zach Harris.

I wish it was all like ruling a digital nation state. I make decisions, some people are happy, some people are sad, and none of it matters. Everyone is always so different.

I finally played poker again. It was tons o' fun. And I didn't suck a lot! In fact, I was better off than Scott when we stopped, which might have been the first time that has ever been true in the course of a game. I was second only to Miklos, who had about as much money as I did in 2 or 3 of his many many chips. But beer was drunk, chips, pizza, and cake were eaten, and everyone I talked to had a good time. So there it is. But again, another travesty of life. I thought no one would come, then we had too many people. And more want to play. But I can't tell anyone not to come, because that is never any fun. Hopefully some people won't be able to make it each time and life will be grand. And as of August, hopefully it will be Gus's problem.

Poker is at least 18 times more entertaining with Zach. Especially when he comments on pizza crust.

Acting for the Camera is pretty interesting. I'm not too excited about the lame-sounding next few classes about direct-to-camera (i.e. commercials) acting, but it will come in handy if I ever decide to be a starving actor. Helen's right though, being on camera is strange. Like whenever I hear my voice on the answering machine or something it sounds weird to me. Well seeing myself on camera I look way different than I do in mirrors or in my mind. It's very odd. And acting for the camera in a word: hard. I can see now why children can often act really well. I have to untrain a lot of what I've been practicing for years. I can't act. The camera sees every nervous eyebrow movement, every out of character nostril flare. It can tell if my eyes are saying something different than my mouth is saying. It's crazy. But I like it. And the people in the class seem fun, with the one exception being Helen. She's amazingly fun. I'm so glad to have someone I know I can talk to on our breaks.

T minus 27 hours. In 27 hours, I will once again have Alex in my arms. Although I seem to be dealing much better with it this summer than last. Is it because this summer she was here for a lot of it? Is it because last summer I had no one to hang out with ever and was sad and lonely? Was it because this summer infrequently affords me a few minutes to think about what is happening in my life? Probably a bit of all of them. But it's also hard because her and I are never reachable by phone at the same time.

Suddenly Seymour

Wow. This was one crazy weekend. Some highlights:

* Cake. If you know me, I've talked to you about it. It was amazing. At one point, I was but 7 feet or so from the feet of John McCrae. A-mazing.

* Whirley ball, laser tag, and a winking lizard. What more is there to say? SnS, I love you!

* A rather poopy evening of theatre.

* The poopy theatre did, however, get me into a very odd mood. It was odd too, because I knew it was odd, but there was not much I could do about it. I called Matt Heap, who had left me an odd message, and then watched reality bites while doing lots of laundry. I felt better.

* 4th of July party with the fam. For once, I was not arguing with my mother at all when home, as my sister was taking care of that for me. The picnic was fun and I hate 3 courses of lunch and 2 of dessert. Mmmmmm...so good.

* Drove back to Pittsburgh to party on the roof of Morewood. We played another excessively quick game of Bang! then watched at least 5 or 6 fireworks displays simultaneously. I also found myself the drummer for Little Shop by the end of the evening, a position which fills me with mixed emotions. It seals my audition possibility coffin (which is part of the reason I wanted to do it, though still excessively sad), but after playing through it, it proves to be challenging and fun. I still have no confidence about my drumming, but as I was alternative to seemingly worse possibilities, I'll just suck it up and do my best.

* Party continued at the Semler project. I was looking forward to getting drunk for once in my life, but not a drop of liquor touched my lips as I played Mario Sunshine for some horrifying number of straight hours. Though I did get into a bout with Zach which is always fun. I kind of like fighting people. Maybe I will take up boxing. I'm small and quick.

* Spiderman 2 was quite entertaining, despite my not seeing the entire movie. Jeff informs me this is because Lowe's does not staff one trained projectionist, but in fact relies on a handful to operate the camera's at all of the 22 screens. Subsequently, he has never seen a correctly projected movie. Spiderman, while mostly in focus, was in fact zoomed to the point that a bit of the bottom and top of the film were cut off, meaning I saw 5 or 6 inches less than the entire film.

* Playing a lot of Playstation and Dreamcast led me to believe that I should play more, because I really have no idea how these newfangled games work. Scott, Aaron, Ram, and Zach also led me to believe this.

* Stimulating conversation with Helen and Ram over a plate of $7 pancakes and a $3 shake at Eat 'n' Park. I think I should have gotten a discount, as I did no parking.

* Even more stimulating was the conversation with Aaron and Ram as we walked home from Squizzle. A very long talk about very little. Though it did open up a stunning film series possibility that Aaron and I came up with solely, as I don't even think anyone else was there.

* I wasn't that tired and was slacking on my goal of watching at least one movie every other night, so I watched some on demand. It was late, so I didn't embark on the journey of Time Bandits. After about 2 min. of a David Lynch film that involved Nicholas Cage (or the Nickster as I call him) beating some guy to a bloody pulp, I watched the entirety of Chasing Papi. It was an American film starring and made by Latin Americans about a smooth-talking sexy Latin man whose 3 girlfriends all find each other and become best friends in an attempt to get through the weekend. It was all about female empowerment. It was also one of the worst movies I have ever seen.

And so, my holiday weekend came to a close. An exceptional weekend with but one huge drawback. Not once did I see Alex and I talked to her for a sum total of about 5 min. I did call her a lot, but she was also quite busy. Although with blogs, actual human conversation seems less and less necessaary.

Indecisiveness Abounds.

i assume you answer these about yourself, not your band.

[pick a band; answer these questions using only that bands song titles]

Cake

Describe yourself: Haze of Love
How do some people feel about you?: Open Book
How do you feel about yourself?: I Will Survive
Describe how you felt in a past relationship: She'll Come Back to Me
Describe your current relationship: Love You Madly
Where are you?: Long Line of Cars
Where would you rather be?: Arco Arena
Describe what you want to be: Comfort Eagle
Describe how you live: Never There
Describe how you love: Up So Close
Share a few words of wisdom: Jesus Wrote a Blank Check


Alternate, not quite as accurate but still good:

Describe yourself: Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps
How do some people feel about you?: I Bombed Korea
Describe a past relationship: Ain't No Good
Where are you?: Alpha Beta Parking Lot
Where would you rather be?: Mexico
Describe what you want to be: Cool Blue Reason, Frank Sinatra, Commissioning a Symphont in C
Describe how you live: Never There
Describe how you love: Stickshifts and Safetybelts (i dont know what it means, but eww)
Share a few words of wisdom: Sheep Go to Heaven (both Jesus-related, weird)

A candle's fickle flame.

Really really sad news: Alex is in Philadelphia. Just about the saddest news ever. Not only for obvious us not being at all colocated reason but especially today because of...

Incredible news: Cake is coming to this fine city tonight and I am going to see them play. Yes, that's right. I will be a countable number of feet from John McCrea and the rest of the unstoppably entertaining quintet of californians some people call Cake. I hope I am not looking forward to this so much that it will be dissappointing, but I could sing the large majority of their songs start to finish, including Short Skirt as long as the CD is also playing (and probably not even then really). But all I ever do is talk about them or think about why I like them so much when I listen, and now I get to see them. And buy another t-shirt.

sidebar: is it considered "poor form" to wear a band's shirt to their concert or is that sort of thing encouraged? i'm not a big concert goer.

mediumly sad news: i can't get the door of the video collection to remain unlocked. dern hunt library doors.

Improv mania.

Oh my freaking craziness of awesome! I heard from one Adam Shlian not too long ago that (brace yourself) Max (the bitter one), Kat, Ayne (of bitch-ass game fame), Don Chase, himself, Nathan, and of course Mr. Prevas will all be in Pittsburgh in two weeks for the wedding of the latter Konstantine (though there is only one). That's right folks, almost half of the No Parking Players hall of fame. I might have peed my pants at hearing this news. To top it all off, Mr. Shlian is going to be rooming and boarding in Amberson, so I get to hang out with him for the 3 min that he is not at wedding stuff. This might be the coolest weekend ever!!

I also talked to Darren in the ol' video collection today until Crazy Faculty McNeedsTwelveMovies guy came in, which was most exciting. Zach, Catherine, and Gerrit expressed a desire to get in on Alex's beach house idea. And Scott's buying a Playstation (which is sad because I'm not, but awesome because he is, and I will likely play it often).

Today was super slow at work, but I have so many things I need to do in this life. I didn't bring my laptop unfortunately, so I couldn't work on the theatrecraft logo, but I had emails to read and a book to peruse, and I spent a long time looking for free web hosting with php and mysql support so I could learn php again. So overall, a good day. And looking forward to chilli, the virgin suicides, karaoke revolution, or some combination therof.

And a special thanks to Zach, for reminding me to update.